I have always wanted to create something, a book, a song, perhaps even just a really cool piece of artwork. It doesn't matter what, just as long as it was soley and irrevocably MINE. Unfortunately, I don't have the talent for any of that. I don't know how people do it. Sure, I have my ideas, but not the ability to put any of it down into something solid. What am I to do? I’m just a regular girl living such an ordinary life that it should be extraordinary.  I’m not creative or beautiful or even an A student. All of that just proves that I’m just another little guppy in the mainstream of America. More like a goldfish flushed down the toilet of life. Sometimes my life is just so dull I don’t know what to do with myself. Thank goodness or the internet, more specifically things like Myspace and Facebook. If I cannot depend on myself for some sign of validation for my existence then at the very least I can look at the rising number of my “friends” and feel as though I have not wasted my life for naught. Of course, it does not work. Lets face it, I barely know half of these people, and talk to even less of them. I swear it didn’t start out that way. I just wanted an easy way to keep track of friends. Then came the random invites. At first I didn’t accept, thinking it was a bit creepy. But after a while I thought perhaps I might as well. I didn’t have any incriminating on my Myspace, I hadn’t even put down the right city or state in my information. And who knows? I could be missing out on people who could become friends. Man, I was a naïve girl. Sure, I did talk to a couple of them, and sometimes enough to be considered “friends”. Heck, I even got into a “relationship” with a certain guy I met from the Myspace forums. We had known each other for about a year and a half before we realized that we liked each other a bit too much for just friendly strangers. Instead of backing out, we dug even deeper in. Unfortunately, like all my other “Myspace friends” we eventually lost track of one another. We talk, we can even call each other, but no longer do we share every single aspect of our lives with each other. It’s a sad lesson I learned, but probably an invaluable one. I’m not exactly sure what it is… but it’s there... Why? I’ll admit, they COULD be some fat 50 year old with back wrinkles and liver spots. But I don’t want to believe that. I don’t want to go through life not trusting people. You have just as much chance being raped by some random guy you meet at church than you do some guy online. Perhaps even more if you don’t give the latter anyway to find you. Sure, I could “protect myself” and only talk to people I know IRL. Sure I could tell random people who try to add me online to just eff off. But I don’t want to, I’m not going to. Whether or not people always tell the truth online, they don’t’ always tell the truth in person anyways. And I enjoyed having those “random people” as “friends” even if only for a short time.